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Friday 15 November 2013

A few thoughts on Revolution

Sometimes we just have to admit defeat and realise that the promise of glory was just a dream. People like us shall admit someday that we just stood back and watched others eke out a living in the dust and grime that is our country- or at least the part that we are never privy to- while we debate and hypothesise and spread our vitriol across the pages of social media, newspapers, and magazines, but this will never make a difference to the suffering of the silent majority.
What is it about people like us, so comfortable in our first world problems, that makes us believe we have the privilege to disrupt the balance of history? 

Monday 11 November 2013

Liaisons Dangereuses

So usually I hate this kind of psycho-babble, agony aunt stuff but an article in Psychology Today caught my eye and some aspects struck me as being spot on.
Ken Page, a psychotherapist, discusses what he terms as “attractions of deprivation” and "attractions of inspiration"–  the latter did not interest me as much as the former which refers to a condition which I suspect we all experience, at some point, when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents. Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.
Is it possible to change that ending or are we destined to just repeat that cycle over and over? What can we do to break that cycle?
Page explains that "Many of us believe that attractions of deprivation are real love, because they draw us in so powerfully. When these attractions let us down, we believe it's because of a lack in us, not because of a fatal flaw embedded in the attractions themselves....Most of us are wired to want the hard-to-get. People who devalue us make us want to convince them of our worth. These are our circuitries of deprivation. And, as compelling as they are, they rarely lead to happiness or lasting love."

This is very true...for some reason many people, in my experience this tends to be mainly women, prefer to blame their characters for their faults rather than admit to errors of judgement. This kind of self flagellation is extremely counter productive and merely ends in a repetition of mistakes due to the fact that the individual is hoping that 'this time things will be different', rather than acknowledging a simple miscalculation which can be corrected in future.

Saturday 9 November 2013

Life Lessons

Learning to love....now that's the hardest thing. Learning how and then who.

Wednesday 16 October 2013

من انا؟

كلما طرحت السؤال على نفسي أعجز عن الإجابة و اتهرب منها...اصعب الأمور مواجهة الانسان لذاته...

من انا؟ افف! و من أين لي ان آتي بالإجابة؟ سيتطلب الامر جهدا و بحثا مضنيا و مؤلما....سيطلب الامر عمرا بأكمله....أليس أفضل و اسهل لنا ان نتجاهل السؤال؟ 

و لكن....ربما يكون هذا التفكير إفادة للبحث اكثر في أعماقي و أظن ان التشابه في البشر حاصل على غفلة منهم. 

ساطلق لأفكاري العنان...تسرح و تمرح على سجيتها... تختار صورا من الذاكرة... 

صحيح انني الحاضر و لكنني أيضاً هذا الماضي الذي لا يمضي....فلتكن إذن طريقة اخرى في لاكتشاف الذات... 

من أكون؟ 

دائماً اشعر بأنني كارثة متنقلة على رجلين....الفتاة التي تمارس الهروب الدائم....كارهة القيود....كتلة التناقضات...سطر ابيض و سطر اسود حتى ينتهي الدفتر

Thursday 10 October 2013

حلم

في بعض الأحيان يمكن أن نحلم بشخص أو شيء يمثل لنا كل آمال وأحلام ومشاعر ماضينا. عند الاستيقاظ يصبح مؤلما للغاية اننا نكتشف ان هذا الشخص او هذا الشيء اصبح مجرد ذكرى ....ذكرى خاصة تمثل لنا اهم لحظات الحياة

Tuesday 17 September 2013

بندقية

هاك رجل يقصف قبر ابنه بالدموع ، بعد أن بناه بالرصاص

الطائش من رشاشه ، ها هو يستجدي الغفران بعد أن قلم الندم أظافره ، رجل هرم انتزع أحشاء ابنه ثم هضمها ثم أصابته التخمة ، فتقيأ و انكفأ على وجهه باحثا عن أشلاء عزاء ينتشله …

كان رجلا يسكن فمه السيجار الكوبي ، و لا ترحل عنه ابتسامة الاستهزاء ، بطنه كرة دائرية متقنة النفخ ، عيناه كهفان غائران تغطيهما نظارة سوداء ، أسنانه مطلية بالصفار ، مليئة بالنتوءات ، فمه ركام نفايات ، إفطاره خمس و عشرون ركلة ، و سيل من الرصاص ، و كل ثانية يزداد جوعه فيقضم من أي روح كانت ، الحياة معه نكهتها الظلم … متعته دائما و أبدا هي البطش .

شاب في السادسة و العشرين ، ينظر للحياة بعين متسائل ، يسأل و يجرب ، تحتويه الحيرة ، لم تبتلعه فجوة اللاجدوى بعد ، لم يكن قد أدركته شيبة الحزن بعد ، مقبل على حانة الواقع ، يشرب و لا يذهب عقله ، يتلذذ بالمرارة ، يتعلم ، يسقط ، ينهض ، ينهار ، و يبني نفسه ، يقرأ ، يكتب ، يسجل بصمته في الحياة ، لا يقف على الحياد ، يقود بأقصى سرعته و لا يهدأ حتى تتفرع الطرق ، يصمت برهة ثم يستعيد سرعته و ينطلق نحو عالم أوسع … إلى أن … إلى أن … ربت الموت على كتفه …

- ألا تخاف الموت ؟

(هكذا سأله صديق له مستنكرا منه فوضوية أحلامه و أدرينالينه المرتفع دائما )

- أنت كمن يقول لي هناك سيارة مسرعة ستقتلك لا محالة ، هديء من سرعتك لتربك ملاك الموت قليلا … أنا أرفض أن يقتلني الموت قبل أن تقتلني الحياة ، نحن أصلا نسكن في عالم من الأموت … 

أب و ابنه سقطا في هوة التناقض حتى أن قبض القدر قبضته عليهما ، فانتهيا معا … 

قسم شرطة ، مظاهرة صاخبة ، شباب جامح ، سلطة مكبِّلة ، أمر بإطلاق النار ، أسلحة تشتعل في حماس ، والد يصوب رشاشه في هستيرية لا مثيل لها ، و ابن يستقبل الرصاصة بصدر عار و ابتسامة بشوش .

بعد أن كان جليس بندقية ، أصبح جليس الندم …

(أماني محمد (أصداء مقطوفة

Friday 13 September 2013

So now we find ourselves pitted against one another, with each side determined to inflict as much pain

So now we find ourselves pitted against one another, with each side determined to inflict as much pain as possible on the other, inexpiably. This thought is unbearable to me, and it poisons my days. And yet you and I, who are so alike who share the same culture and the same hopes, who have been brothers for so long, joined in the love we both feel for our country, know that we are not enemies. We know that we could live happily together on this land, which is our land—because it is ours, and because I can no more imagine it without you and your brothers than you can separate it from me and my kind.

But I know from experience that to say these things today is to venture into a no-man’s land between hostile enemies. It is to preach the folly of war as bullets fly. Bloodshed may sometimes lead to progress, but more often brings only greater barbarity and misery. He who pours his heart into such a plea can expect only laughter and the din of the battlefield in reply. And yet someone must say these things, and since you propose to try, I cannot let you take such an insane and necessary step without standing with you in fraternal solidarity.
~Open letter to Aziz Kassus by Camus

Tuesday 10 September 2013

Sham of Tabriz's 40 Rules of Love

Rule 1
How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is too much fear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.

Rule 2
The path to the Truth is a labour of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind. Meet, challenge and ultimately prevail over your nafs with your heart. Knowing your ego will lead you to the knowledge of God.

Rule 3
You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe, because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue or church. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly His abode is, there is only one place to look for him: in the heart of a true lover.

Rule 4
Intellect and love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advices, ‘Beware too much ecstasy’, whereas love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge!’ Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures.

Rule 5
Most of problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstanding. Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of love, language, as we know it becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.

Rule 6
Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually it is the best to find a person who will be your mirror. Remember only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.

Rule 7
Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi is thankful not only for what he has been given but also for all that he has been denied.

Rule 8
Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to look at the end of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be short-sighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.

Rule 9
East, west, south, or north makes little difference. No matter what your destination, just be sure to make every journey a journey within. If you travel within, you’ll travel the whole wide world and beyond.

Rule 10
The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain.

Rule 11
The quest for love changes user. There is no seeker among those who search for love who has not matured on the way. The moment you start looking for love, you start to change within and without.

Rule 12
There are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world than the number of stars in the visible universe. Don’t confuse power-driven, self-centred people with true mentors. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself or herself and will not expect absolute obedience or utter admiration from you, but instead will help you to appreciate and admire your inner self. True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the light of God pass through them.

Rule 13
Try not to resist the changes, which come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?

Rule 14
God is busy with the completion of your work, both outwardly and inwardly. He is fully occupied with you. Every human being is a work in progress that is slowly but inexorably moving toward perfection. We are each an unfinished work of art both waiting and striving to be completed. God deals with each of us separately because humanity is fine art of skilled penmanship where every single dot is equally important for the entire picture.

Rule 15
It’s easy to love a perfect God, unblemished and infallible that He is. What is far more difficult is to love fellow human being with all their imperfections and defects. Remember, one can only know what one is capable of loving. There is no wisdom without love. Unless we learn to love God’s creation, we can neither truly love nor truly know God.

Rule 16
Real faith is the one inside. The rest simply washes off. There is only one type of dirt that cannot be cleansed with pure water, and that is the stain of hatred and bigotry contaminating the soul. You can purify your body through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart.

Rule 17
The whole universe is contained within a single human being-you. Everything that you see around, including the things that you might not be fond of and even the people you despise or abhor, is present within you in varying degrees. Therefore, do not look for Sheitan outside yourself either. The devil is not an extraordinary force that attacks from without. It is an ordinary voice within. If you set to know yourself fully, facing with honesty and hardness.

Rule 18

If you want to change the ways others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn that others might throw at you. It is a sign that you will soon be showered in roses.

Rule 19
Fret not where the road will take you. Instead concentrate on the first step. That is the hardest part and that is what you are responsible for. Once you take that step let everything do what it naturally does and the rest will follow. Don’t go with the flow. Be the flow.

Rule 20
We were all created in His image, and yet we were each created different and unique. No two people are alike. No hearts beat to the same rhythm. If God had wanted everyone to be the same, He would have made it so. Therefore, disrespecting differences and imposing your thoughts on others is an amount to disrespecting God’s holy scheme.

Rule 21
When a true lover of God goes into a tavern, the tavern becomes his chamber of prayer, but when a wine bibber goes into the same chamber, it becomes his tavern. In everything we do, it is our hearts that make the difference, not our outer appearance. Sufis do not judge other people on how they look or who they are. When a Sufi stares at someone, he keeps both eyes closed instead opens a third eye – the eye that sees the inner realm.

Rule 22
Life is a temporary loan and this world is nothing but a sketchy imitation of Reality. Only children would mistake a toy for the real thing. And yet human beings either become infatuated with the toy or disrespectfully break it and throw it aside. In this life stay away from all kinds of extremities, for they will destroy your inner balance. Sufis do not go to extremes. A Sufi always remains mild and moderate.

Rule 23
The human being has a unique place among God’s creation. “I breathed into him of My Spirit,” God says. Each and every one of us without exception is designed to be God’s delegate on earth. Ask yourself, just how often do you behave like a delegate, if you ever do so? Remember, it fells upon each of us to discover the divine spirit inside and live by it.

Rule 24

Hell is in the here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both present inside this very moment. Every time we fall in love, we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy or fight someone we tumble straight into the fires of hell.

Rule 25
Each and every reader comprehends the Holy Qur’an on a different level of tandem with the depth of his understanding. There are four levels of insight. The first level is the outer meaning and it is the one that the majority of the people are content with. Next is the Batin – the inner level. Third, there is the inner of the inner. And the fourth level is so deep it cannot be put into words and is therefore bound to remain indescribable.

Rule 26

The universe is one being. Everything and everyone is interconnected through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all in a silent conversation. Do no harm. Practice compassion. And do not gossip behind anyone’s back – not even a seemingly innocent remark! The words that come out of our mouths do not vanish but are perpetually stored in infinite space and they will come back to us in due time. One man’s pain will hurt us all. One man’s joy will make everyone smile.

Rule 27

Whatever you speak, good or evil, will somehow come back to you. Therefore, if there is someone who harbours ill thoughts about you, saying similarly bad things about him will only make matters worse. You will be locked in a vicious circle of malevolent energy. Instead for forty days and nights say and think nice things about that person. Everything will be different at the end of 40 days, because you will be different inside.

Rule 28
The past is an interpretation. The future is on illusion. The world does not more through time as if it were a straight line, proceeding from the past to the future. Instead time moves through and within us, in endless spirals. Eternity does not mean infinite time, but simply timelessness. If you want to experience eternal illumination, put the past and the future out of your mind and remain within the present moment.

Rule 29
Destiny doesn't mean that your life has been strictly predetermined. Therefore, to live everything to the fate and to not actively contribute to the music of the universe is a sign of sheer ignorance. The music of the universe is all pervading and it is composed on 40 different levels. Your destiny is the level where you play your tune. You might not change your instrument but how well to play is entirely in your hands.

Rule 30

The true Sufi is such that even when he is unjustly accused, attacked and condemned from all sides, he patiently endures, uttering not a sing bad word about any of his critics. A Sufi never apportions blame. How can there be opponents or rivals or even “others” when there is no “self” in the first place? How can there be anyone to blame when there is only One?

Rule 31
If you want to strengthen your faith, you will need to soften inside. For your faith to be rock solid, your heart needs to be as soft as a feather. Through an illness, accident, loss or fright, one way or another, we are all faced with incidents that teach us how to become less selfish and judgmental and more compassionate and generous. Yet some of us learn the lesson and manage to become milder, while some others end up becoming even harsher than before…

Rule 32
Nothing should stand between you and God. No imams, priests, rabbits or any other custodians of moral or religious leadership. Not spiritual masters and not even your faith. Believe in your values and your rules, but never lord them over others. If you keep breaking other people’s hearts, whatever religious duty you perform is no good. Stay away from all sorts of idolatry, for they will blur your vision. Let God and only God be your guide. Learn the Truth, my friend, but be careful not to make a fetish out of your truths.

Rule 33

While everyone in this world strives to get somewhere and become someone, only to leave it all behind after death, you aim for the supreme stage of nothingness. Live this life as light and empty as the number zero. We are no different from a pot. It is not the decorations outside but the emptiness inside that holds us straight. Just like that, it is not what we aspire to achieve but the consciousness of nothingness that keeps us going.

Rule 34
Submission does not mean being weak or passive. It leads to neither fatalism nor capitulation. Just the opposite. True power resides in submission a power that comes within. Those who submit to the divine essence of life will live in unperturbed tranquillity and peace even the whole wide world goes through turbulence after turbulence.

Rule 35
In this world, it is not similarities or regularities that take us a step forward, but blunt opposites. And all the opposites in the universe are present within each and every one of us. Therefore the believer needs to meet the unbeliever residing within. And the non-believer should get to know the silent faithful in him. Until the day one reaches the stage of Insane-I Kamil, the perfect human being, faith is a gradual process and one that necessitates its seeming opposite: disbelief.

Rule 36
This world is erected upon the principle of reciprocity. Neither a drop of kindness nor a speck of evil will remain unreciprocated. For not the plots, deceptions, or tricks of other people. If somebody is setting a trap, remember, so is God. He is the biggest plotter. Not even a leaf stirs outside God’s knowledge. Simply and fully believe in that. Whatever God does, He does it beautifully.

Rule 37
God is a meticulous dock maker. So precise is His order that everything on earth happens in its own time. Neither a minute late nor a minute early. And for everyone without exception, the clock works accurately. For each there is a time to love and a time to die.

Rule 38
It is never too late to ask yourself, “Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within?” Even if a single day in your life is the same as the day before, it surely is a pity. At every moment and with each new breath, one should be renewed and renewed again. There is only one-way to be born into a new life: to die before death.

Rule 39
While the part change, the whole always remains the same. For every thief who departs this world, a new one is born. And every descent person who passes away is replaced by a new one. In this way not only does nothing remain the same but also nothing ever really changes. For every Sufi who dies, another is born somewhere.

Rule 40
A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, Eastern or Western. Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple. Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire! The universe turns differently when fire loves water

Friday 6 September 2013

US Intervention in Syria: Not Kind, But Cruel

Punishing a dictator for killing his own people by killing yet more of them is not the answer. It didn't work in Iraq, and it won't work in Syria. 

As the drums of war beat once more for yet another strike on a Middle Eastern capital, one cannot help but be reminded of similar events exactly a decade ago that heralded the US invasion of Iraq. However, this time we have learnt from experience to ask the right questions and not to repeat the same mistakes... Haven't we?

Some would argue that the general public has "over-learned" the lessons from Iraq and yet, just like back then, it doesn't really matter. According to a recent poll, Just 19% of Americans support intervention in Syria and yet President Barack Obama seems determined to go ahead with his mission. The president set the wheels in motion by asking the US Congress for a mandate to strike the Syrian capital, Damascus, in retaliation for the alleged use of chemical weapons. The resolution was approved by Congress and is now with the House of Representatives.

Meanwhile, the US media has gone into overdrive, promoting all the reasons why it is in the American people's interest to intervene in Syria. The most important of which, apparently, is not concern for the suffering of the Syrian people but because failure to act "would undermine the credibility of the United States of America and of the president of the United States", in the words of one-time presidential hopeful John McCain.

Obama had stated that the use of chemical weapons was a "red line" that should not be crossed and would force a tough US response. Fair enough. But why did the slaughter of over 100,000 people, through the use of conventional weapons, not elicit a tough response? Is Mr Obama saying that providing that Syrian President Bashar al-Assad does not use the dreaded chemical weapons, he is free to do as he pleases? This echoes former President George W Bush's warnings about the non-existent weapons of mass destruction, the "smoking gun", that triggered the invasion of Iraq in 2003. Though previously Saddam Hussein was given even more leeway and allowed to use both conventional and chemical weapons on his people before any "red lines" were drawn, let alone crossed.

This indicates a certain inconsistency in American humanitarian policy and suggests that perhaps it is not the interests of the Syrian people that are at stake here but simply a desire to maintain the stalemate that has existed between the Syrian rebels and the regime since late 2011. Dramatic victories in Qussayr, Homs, as well as gains in the suburbs of Damascus, indicated a tipping of the balance in favour of the regime. It seems foolish, if not completely crazy, for the regime to halt that momentum by crossing the only line that the West had drawn.

Indeed, why would the regime launch a chemical attack, just days after UN inspectors arrived in Damascus and just 15km away from the hotel where they were staying, even if the experts were initially prevented from visiting the site? This is especially bewildering when you consider that those inspectors were in Damascus for the express purpose ofinvestigating whether chemical weapons had been deployed? Surely, it would have been easier for the regime to allow the inspectors to do their work, send them on their way with no evidence and then resume their bloody assault without laying themselves open to the wrath of America?

Another point worth consideration is that no one is entirely sure exactly who is using chemical weapons in Syria. There have been allegations against both the regime and the rebels. The most notable accusation against the rebels was when Carla Del Ponte, a member of the UN Independent Commission of Inquiry on Syria, voiced her suspicions that rebel forces had made use of Sarin nerve gas. This is in addition to Turkey's announcement that it had seized rebels on the Turkish-Syrian border carrying a 2kg cylinder of Sarin gas. Turkish newspapers also announced, back in May, that another 2kg cylinder of Sarin had been confiscated from the homes of Syrian militants in Adana.
The regime has not denied possessing chemical weapons but has it used them? It is certainly not a possibility that we should rule out. However, intervention in Syria based on shaky evidence seems ill advised. The declassified report issued by the White House provides little explanation of how the Obama administration decided that the Syrian regime had used chemical weapons. Another curious point is how the figure of 1,429 dead cited by the White House does not correspond with the 355 confirmed by Médecins Sans Frontières or the 502 that the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights estimates, or indeed even America'sFrench Intelligence allies who were only able to confirm 281 casualties. It seems that numbers are being thrown around with little care for what actually happened or to who it happened to.
However, the most significant factor to take into consideration is that it was Syria and Russia who asked for the UN to investigate the use of chemical weapons in Khan al-Assal and two other locations, which the Syrian government did not announce for fear of a repeat of the rebel attack on Khan al-Assal, allegedly to cover up evidence of chemical weapons use by the rebels.
Most importantly, we must question what the outcome of any strike on Syria would be. One would think it would be enough to see the carnage that this kind of adventurism inflicted on Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya. A succession of "wars on terror" and operations to "bring democracy" to Afghanistan has seen the country literally razed to the ground. Libya still remains in total chaos, whilst Iraq undoubtedly represents the greatest human tragedy of our time. Estimates put the death toll at between 100,000 and one million, with some as high as 2.7 million - again a bitter war of numbers that totally disregards the suffering inflicted upon the country. One would be remiss not to mention the effects that "humanitarian intervention" had on the city of Fallujah where the "toxic legacy of the US assault" - where there is, ironically, evidence that the US used chemical weapons - was considered, by international studies, to be "worse than Hiroshima."
Of course, the pro-intervention crowd will argue that it will be different this time. But how can anyone guarantee that? Any military expert would agree that it is difficult to assess exactly how hard to strike and it's also difficult to withdraw. And after all of that, will Assad actually fall? Well, if America manages to keep to "limited" strikes, then it is unlikely that Assad will be toppled. Already he pre-emptively relocated his personnel and artillery to civilian areas - a move which assures that America will either totally miss its targets, or civilians will be hit.
Finally, America's strike on Syria would probably only serve to boost the morale of the regime, which is already receiving support from some segments of the Syrian population and other Arab countries for its perceived role as a champion fighting against another "imperialistic crusade". Obvious parallels with the intervention in Iraq 10 years ago are already being drawn and the world is getting tired of America's forays into the Middle East. Moreover, escalating matters can only be advantageous for Russia as it can now justify its backing of the Assad regime as support for a "legitimate authority under attack".
Military intervention is not the answer. Punishing a dictator for killing his own people by killing yet more of them is not the answer. Syria needs dialogue and carefully considered diplomacy - not more guns.
First appeared in Khaled Diab's The Chronikler

Saturday 18 May 2013

Should I kill myself or have a cup of coffee?

My dear,

I don’t know what to do today, help me decide.

Should I cut myself open and pour my heart on these pages? Or should I sit here and do nothing, nobody’s asking anything of me afterall.

Should I jump off the cliff that has my heart beating so and develop my wings on the way down? Or should I step back from the edge, and let the others deal with this thing called courage.

Should I stare back at the existential abyss that haunts me so and try desperately to grab from it a sense of self? Or should I keep walking half-asleep, only half-looking at it every now and then in times in which I can’t help doing anything but?

Should I kill myself or have a cup of coffee?
Falsely yours,

Albert Camus.

Monday 11 March 2013

Waiting for the Barbarians

What are we waiting for, assembled in the forum?
The barbarians are due here today.

Why isn’t anything happening in the senate?
Why do the senators sit there without legislating?
Because the barbarians are coming today.
What laws can the senators make now?Once the barbarians are here, they’ll do the legislating.
Why did our emperor get up so early,
and why is he sitting at the city’s main gate
on his throne, in state, wearing the crown?
Because the barbarians are coming today
and the emperor is waiting to receive their leader.
He has even prepared a scroll to give him,
replete with titles, with imposing names.

Why have our two consuls and praetors come out today
wearing their embroidered, their scarlet togas?
Why have they put on bracelets with so many amethysts,
and rings sparkling with magnificent emeralds?
Why are they carrying elegant canes
beautifully worked in silver and gold?

Because the barbarians are coming today and things like that dazzle the barbarians.

Why don’t our distinguished orators come forward as usual to make their speeches, say what they have to say?

Because the barbarians are coming today and they’re bored by rhetoric and public speaking.
Why this sudden restlessness, this confusion?
(How serious people’s faces have become.)Why are the streets and squares emptying so rapidly, everyone going home so lost in thought?
Because night has fallen and the barbarians have not come.
And some who have just returned from the border say there are no barbarians any longer.

And now, what’s going to happen to us without barbarians?

They were, those people, a kind of solution.